About The Blogger

My name is Tammy Lim and I am an award winning blogger from Top 10 Malaysia Magazine and Cleo Malaysia Magazine. I have been blogging since 2008 and I am also the founder of a local Malaysian beauty & lifestyle community called The Butterfly Project. People often tell me that I'm a wonder woman, but in reality - if it's something you love, you can do wonders.

When I'm not wondering, I'll be on my computer searching for the next fountain of youth or hunting down a fantastic deal. I'm also a shopaholic, wanderluster, spa enthusiast and proud hipster who loves planning special occasions and surprises for her loved ones.
  • Top 10 Female Bloggers in Malaysia Award
  • Cleo's Next Top Blogger Malaysia Award
  • Founder of The Butterfly Project Malaysia

  • OSIM Smart Sofa uDiva 2


    a sofa chair that massages anyone?

    No home is complete without a sofa. They provide comfort and allow family and friends to socialise, unwind and watch television together. Innovation has always been at the heart of OSIM. With consumers growing concerns about multi-purposes and design, OSIM has developed OSIM uDiva 2 Smart Sofa.

    By combining state-of-the-art-design and top notch massage technologies, the newly released uDiva 2 is a smart sofa that helps users to relax, take them to the greatest states of relaxation as well as recovering from the toll of everyday stress.

     one chair, 8 different ways to use

    Relax in style and comfort as the versatile uDiva 2 transforms into 8 different modes that effortlessly enrich your lifestyle and suit your every mood and needs, unlike any conventional sofa. 

    1. Sofa
    2. Sofa with ottoman
    3. Leg Massage
    4. Back massage
    5. Back massage with ottoman
    6. Upright full massage
    7. Lounger
    8. Reclined full massage

    Independently controlled backrest & footrest with
    innovative massage technology

    The technologically and brilliantly designed OSIM uDiva 2 Smart Sofa comes in a sophisticated package that fits perfectly in any desired space. This sleek-looking smart sofa is not just aesthetically pleasing, the Udiva 2 Smart Sofa is fully retractable to offer more living space when not in use, saving more than 34% of living space.

    Another breakthrough of Udiva 2 Smart Sofa is that its backrest and footrest can be used independently. Combined with its patent-pending 'Hybrid Power-ball Massage Ball Technology' and patented 'Hyper-power Foot Massage Technology', this Smart Sofa promises to bring maximum lifestyle enjoyment to consumers.

    On top of that, the uDiva 2 Smart Sofa comes with a sleek controller design that attached with an illuminated controller, exquisitely crafted with hidden wires and easy to use even under low light conditions.

    not just a good looker

    "The OSIM uDiva 2 Smart SOfa is one of a kind smart sofa," says Chia Sook Fun, OSIM's General Manager. "Smart Sofas are not just seating objects with mechanical functions, they have a bigger purpose. OSIM uDiva 2 Smart Sofa is a great example as it is not just a smart sofa but a combination of the best design, innovative technology, and relaxation there is to offer. "After all, relaxing after a hard day's work is something all of us desire and deserve. We hope OSIM's uDiva 2 Smart Sofa would fill that gap for a smart sofa that meets every need."

    4 colours to choose from

    The uDiva 2 Smart Sofa is a perfect addition to have in everyone's living room, bedroom or workplace as it complements any interior design theme, whether it is Modern, Scandinavian, Industrial, Contemporary, Retro or Chic. Available in 4 different colours, Yellow Tan Pink and Red, the user can choose which uDiva 2 Smart Sofa best matches the style of their space.

    In conjunction with this Mother's Day, it is time for us to send our mother a smart sofa that is able to relieve their fatigue and be used as a comfortable sofa when she rests. The uDiva 2 Smart Sofa is sophistically designed and topped off with outstanding features. It is the gift she will never forget!

    Retail Price @ RM8,988
    Promo Price Now @ RM7,988 (may change, pls inquire with Osim directly)

    Trollbeads Limited Edition Blue Ocean & 2018 Summer Collection


    the limited edition blue ocean bead

    Ever since I discovered Trollbeads, my heart has been racing to own one and eventually I did in April, I purchase and made my very own beach inspired bracelet. Everything, from the personalised lock which I choose a seashorse to every bead, form to make a story - my story of how I would love to escape to the islands with seashells and waves from blue green ocean singing in my ears. That's what made me fall in love with Trollbeads, they're so different from Pandora. More rugged, more creative, more wild than petite controlled Pandora. With Trollbeads, I could let my imagination form into something I carry close to my heart. Everything is customisable, from the choices of locks, to bracelets, to the murano glass beads that will not crack, scratch or go bad when you hit them hard on the table, till the beads that you can shower with.

    The only thing I was dissapointed at is when every bead I wanted was out of stock. That's the down point of the Malaysia Trollbeads store for those wanting to get their hands on special or seasonal beads. They go out of stock real fast.

    5 stearling silver beads + 1 lock

    SO when Anis asked if I saw the Trollbeads Summer 2018 "Blue Ocean" collection, I said what?! I went to their fb page and my heart just sank. The Summer 2018 collection is so so so beautiful! If you're a mermaid or someone who loves the ocean, get ready to dive into the blue ocean and be mesmerized by the treasures of the sea. The five Sterling silver beads and one lock from the Blue Ocean collection are all beautifully detailed and made by hand.

    Blue Ocean Collection
    Dive into the blue ocean with Trollbeads this summer. Get mesmerized by the treasures of the sea, awed by the exotic fish of the deep and find serenity in the shapes of the gentle waves. 

    Listen to the voices of the ocean – they are whispering a tale to you. 

    The collection is handcrafted from stunning, colorful glass and solid sterling silver. Each piece of jewelry is a work of art. Get ready for a swim and discover the magic of the sea.

    limited edition bead Blue Ocean RM465

    AND the long awaited 2018 limited edition Blue Ocean murano glass bead that I pre-order since April, is here. I was so jealous of my brother's gf who had the 2016 limited edition Deep Ocean bead, I wished it would make a comeback and it really did! But it's deep blue this time instead of ocean green. I would prefer the ocean green still but this is lovely too. Handmade to perfection, every sea treasure is handcrafted into this murano glass bead - from the fishes to the corals. You can even see the bubbles! It's like having the deep blue ocean aquarium in the palm of your hands. Btw this bead, it's EURO95 and Malaysia is selling it at RM465 (pre-order was RM347). Very limited stock, I think it's 50 or 100 beads only for Malaysia so if you want one, you better get it quick.

    The size of the bead is bigger than the standard murano glass beads. It's probably 3 murano glass beads forming into one egg shape body.

    2016 limited edition deep ocean bead (sold out)

    watch the making of the Blue Ocean bead

    because of its size, it's perfect to be worn as a necklace/bracelet
    (statement bead)

    Limited Edition Blue Ocean
    This summer, we bring you jewellery of the sea. Take a deep dive into the blue ocean and open your eyes to find a world of vibrant and vivid colours. Get fascinated by the illuminating fish of the deep, impressed by the beautiful seashells of the ocean floorand find tranquillity in the gentle waves. Take in the silence voices of the ocean - they are whispering a tale to you.

    Let it stir your heart and fuel your imagination. The Blue Ocean is a place of life and true beauty. Due to the size of this bead, it is only recommended for necklaces and bracelets. The price is for the bead only.

    Please note: Glass is a fantastic material. Each glass bead is handmade from red-hot Japanese glass in the open flame with no two glass beads ever being completely alike. This goes for size, coloration and pattern. Your bead is absolutely unique and may have slight variations from bead pictured.

    Blue Ocean Collection range starting from RM149 onwards (while stocks last!). Available at Trollbeads Malaysia boutiques - Sunway Pyramid, Vivacity Megamall, Mid Valley Megamall. Inquire about the collection or the bead on their fb here or check for more info on their website here.

    Belif Prime Infusion Repair Program Ampoule Review


    a 6-weeks intensive anti-aging program specialized by steps

    If you've been following my skincare addiction you'll know that since last year, I have fallen in love with the use of essential oils in my skincare regime. I've become a believer in the use of these oils for beauty, health and aromatherapy reasons. So when belif approached me to test their latest addition to the Prime Infusion family (anti-aging line) the Prime Infusion Repair Program Ampoule, I said yes. To be honest, I have not tried any of their Prime Infusion line of products, so naturally, I know nothing of it but the magic word "ampoule" was something I couldn't' say no to. 

    beautiful dark glass bottles with glass dropper

    What are ampoules? They're magic concentrated liquids targeted at helping you with a skin care goal. There are many kinds of ampoules though, the one I'm reviewing today is a Korean ampoule so it does not come in tiny glass vials where you break it for a one time use. The Korean ampoule is very much the super baby of essence + serum. Somewhat a super essence with a higher concentration of active ingredients, packaged in glass bottles. They will come in a program, from 4-weeks or more. It's normally used as a booster or skincare hero in addition to your skincare regime (after toner, before serum or moisturizer). 

    Prime Infusion Repair Program Ampoule RM525

    3 different ampoules, each 15ml

    Usually, if you want glowing, radiant skin just in time for your big day (wedding) you'll incorporate such programs into your skincare regime. I believe the bride and wedding forums talk about a 12-month, 6 months, 3-months and the (emergency) 1-month skincare programs. Whether you'll sign up for a facial course or have your own program, the decision is based on if you have the time and effort to do so (and money). They won't be cheap, not the price of a moisturizer or serum. 

    I've done similar intensive programs before - L'Occitane's Immortelle 28-day Divine Renewal Program. I love the product and results after so I was excited to go on another booster program.

    BUT this isn't just any skincare review, I was asked to commit myself to a 6-weeks intensive program to see the results for myself. This would mean I have to stop and also decline any skincare product reviews to see if the program actually works.

    If you notice, I didn't blog, social share or review anything since April about skincare. I know you can use this along with other skincare products, but I didn't want to change anything in my normal routine so I could see if it made a change.

    formulated with ‘The healing herb’ – Mountain Daisy (R)
    solar infusion method (example - L)

    I found it to be frustrating that the package came in Korean so I couldn't identify the ingredients list, even online. I visited belif Korea, USA, and Malaysia but there was no ingredient list. The only ingredients mention are the key ingredients used for each ampule steps and that the main ingredient formulated from is the Mountain Daisy (scientific name is Arnica Montana). 

    Other Common Names: Leopard’s bane, common arnica, mountain arnica, mountain daisy, wolfsbane, mountain tobacco, fleurs d’arnica (French), almindelig guldblomme (Danish), slåttergubbe (Swedish), Arnika (German).

    It's a small flower with orange/yellow petals grown on the alpine grassland at 2,000 meters or above (nowhere else). This healing herb has strong skin regeneration power for collagen synthesis and cell growth. When you google Mountain Arnica, you'll find that it's been used many years back as a healing remedy:
    • ability to speed of healing of tissues
    • anti-inflammatory
    • increase blood circulation
    • reduces bruises and pain
    *I read that it becomes toxic when overdose.

    Because of its healing points, this has become one of the herbs recognized by the European medical field for skin rejuvenating after micro-cosmetic or plastic surgery. To harness this herb, belif handpicks it and extracts its essences via the Solar Nectar Infusion method under the sun. A medicinal herbal extraction process with over a 72-hour of patients and devotion by solely using the energy of the sun, resulting in a highly concentrated extract of powerful herbs. 

    I'm guessing it's probably something like the solar infusion method where the herbs are drowned in a carrier oil, inside a mason jar (example) and left under the sun for 3 days.

    P.S: belif's solar nectar infusion method is a Napiers original formula (herb and plant remedy company). Napiers is one of UK's leading complementary and natural healthcare company.

    extracted via solar nectar infusion method
    a Napiers original formula

    a repair program with purifying & regenerating effect

    Product Description
    A six-week intensive care program with step-by-step ampoules. During each step, it gives more effective anti-aging by hydrating, nourishing, and returning rough skin to resilient skin.

    Step 1: Prime infusion repair program ampoule – reset 15ml
    A soft, non-irritating old dead skin cell removal properties, helps to turn uneven skin texture into silky and soft. Added marshmallow root as part of its main ingredient which consists of Mucilage to soften and remove old dead skin cells.

    Step 2: Prime infusion repair program ampoule – recover 15ml
    Formulated with various types of natural moisturizing agents that provides long-lasting moisturizing effects without stickiness. Added Grape Vine’s sap extracted through pruning which contains active properties such as Minerals, organic acid, and flavonoid which can bring benefits such as moisturizing and anti-inflammation. The recover ampoule comes in nutrient-enriched texture that softly embraces the skin and penetrates deeply into the skin and leaves both moisturizing and firming effects after application.


Step 3: Prime infusion repair program ampoule – reactivate 15ml

A highly concentrated, nutrient-enriched ampoule formula, act as a finishing touch to the intensive 6 weeks ampoule program to enhanced skin firmness and radiant. It is a highly concentrated, rich formula that can penetrate deeply into the skin to improve skin elasticity as well as care for wrinkles and leave skin with smooth and radiant finished. Added Lotus as one of its main ingredients to helps detoxify the skin with its strong anti-oxidant effects.

    No Addition of Mineral oil, Synthetic fragrance, Synthetic Dyes, Synthetic preservatives, Animal-origin ingredients.

    a holistic booster using essential oils

    A post shared by lim chooi ing (@plusizekitten) on
    each ampoule step contains different active ingredients

    color, scent, texture is different for each bottle

    How To Use?

    Step 1 – Reset: Apply twice a day, in the morning and night, apply after toner. Dispense 2 or 3 drops on the palm and gently massage over the entire face. Reapply the formula one more time on the area with concerns such as roughness and excess old dead skin cells. After two weeks, move on to

    Step 2 – Recover: Apply twice a day, in the morning and night, apply after toner. Dispense 2 or 3 drops on the palm and gently massage over the entire face. Reapply the formula one more time in the area with concerns such as dryness and lack of firmness. After two weeks, move on to Step

    Step 3 – Reactivate: Apply twice a day, in the morning and night, apply after toner. Dispense 2 or 3 drops on the palm and gently massage over the entire face. Reapply the formula one more time in the area with concerns such as dryness and lack of firmness.

    overall - happy with the results!

    My Review:

    I began my journey in April, starting with the Step 1 - Reset which focuses on removing old dead skin cell. For two weeks, I diligently use this in the morning, (afternoon), and also before I sleep. The texture is lightweight and clear and the scent? It smells amazing like I'm at the spa. Among the 3, this one won my heart because the scent was just sublime. I felt calm, happy and relax. Just 2 - 3 drops each time, after cleansing and toner, before any moisturizer.

    However, I tried not to use moisturizer after, to see how effective this would be. I finish the entire bottle in a month (exceeding 2 weeks). It was partly my fault, I thought one bottle was meant to last for 2 weeks but somehow my bottle lasted a month. When I clarify with belif, they told me I need not use the entire bottle as two weeks is just the length of time you can use, and I could upon completing all 6 weeks, go back to Step 1 again. So this would mean, a complete set could last you 2 x 6 weeks program! My face was at this point, softer, brighter and calmer.

    * I have sensitive, dry-combination skin. I am in my late 30s.

    I started Step 2 - Recover and this time did it for two weeks. One the first day, my face had a slight irritation. Perhaps the active ingredients in Step 2 were too strong for my skin. A few red bumps started showing up on my face and soothe it with Aloe Vera Gel. I didn't give up, but after my skin accepted it and I finish two weeks. Step 2's scent was a tad stronger than Step 1. The texture was also cloudy with a tinge of orange (darker). Since this step is said to give deep hydration and to nourish refined skin. It's officially certified to reduce the appearance of wrinkles.

    I don't have wrinkles, to begin with, or at least, it's not a concern.  For this, I could not comment if the appearance of wrinkles worked. I will have to consider if this gave me deep hydration. Looking back, I realized did not use moisturizer for during this 2-weeks with it (except for Aloe Vera on Day 1). My face didn't peel and it appeared as if I have been using a moisturizer.

    Final Step 3 - Reactivate. The bottle is the darkest and the texture & color is about the same as Step 2. It still gives off a citrusy scent just like Step 2. I am excited about this step because it's focusing on improving the skin's antioxidant level to soothe and revitalize the skin. Everything seems to be on course, as I could see my face is glowing like I have used 100 masks to achieve this youthful glow.  I have this natural healthy glow and my face was absolutely blushing! (like a school girl?).

    the repairing booster before bedtime & after waking up

    Final verdict
    Drinking enough water (keeping hydrated) so your skin gets it's core food + going on this intensive program would be a good way to start. Of course, taking into account if you want to improve your lifestyle (dietary, exercise, etc) you could look even better. To summarise, I am happy with the results of the program, I'm finishing Step 3 by this weekend but I could already see the results showing on my face. My skin looks brighter, more revitalized and if I may say so, younger. I also did this with very minimal interference from using other skincare products. I only use a herbal soap as a cleanser, an ice-toner (yeap the spraying ice cool kind), the ampoules and occasionally, a lightweight moisturizer.  I did mask a few times while at work.

    Will I repurchase this? Maybe, if I need another booster next year to keep my baby cheeks in place.

    The Prime Infusion Repair Program Ampoule RM535. A six-week intensive care program with step-by-step ampoules. During each step, it gives more effective anti-aging by hydrating, nourishing, and returning rough skin to smooth and radiant. These 3 steps consist of:

    Step 1: Reset - Remove old dead skin cell
    Step 2. Recover - Provide long-lasting moisturizing effects
    Step 3. Reactivate – Improve skin elasticity and care for wrinkles

    Other products found in the same range - the repairing toner, moisturizing cream, eye cream, and repair essence. Available at all belif outlet(s) in Malaysia:

    belif KLCC (C11-A); Tel: 03-2163 2163
    belif Midvalley (G001A); Tel: 03-2201 0645
    belif Sunway Pyramid (G1.82A); Tel: 03-5613 6226
    belif IOI City Mall Lot (G-73A); Tel: 03-8940 7388
    belif Queensbay Mall, Penang (GF 20); Tel: 04-6447966

    belif Facebook
    belif Malaysia website

    Bentuk Bentuk Review + 10% OFF


    concrete love anyone?

    About two months ago, I came across Bentuk Bentuk on Instagram and immediately fell in love with their concrete creations. You see I have a thing for cement, especially when cold hard cement turns into something so aesthetically beautiful. They make great home decor pieces, vanity table glam glams, wedding favours (the coasters, they can personalise your names on it, tie it in a bunch), props for photography (if you're a beauty or fashion influencer/blogger, take your products with it) and party gifts (Urban Decay media launch, they got Bentuk Bentuk to make personalised logo coasters for them!).

    Prices start from RM10 - RM159, with an average of RM45-69 ish on their products. From planter pots, name card holder, assorted trendy trays, coasters, jewellery organiser, lighting and table setup.

    Bentuk Bentuk Husband-Wife Duo

    What's Bentuk Bentuk?
    Founded by the darling couple Shahfiq and Adesh, Bentuk Bentuk is a local handmade concrete brand that creates stylish yet functional products. I admire them both for their passion and strength in this. Both married and working with full-time jobs, they manage Bentuk Bentuk as a passion project with an aim to change local artist standards and the stereotypical perception about concrete a.k.a cement. I thank them for not inflating or dumping the cost of their creations onto the local consumers (there's just too many nonsense "local" handmade brands out there with prices that is pure rubbish, it don't make sense to even buy). I believe every business, can be profitable and meaningful if one understands the local market, its buying behavior and their intent to change such perception about local handmade goods. Bentuk Bentuk's prices are still within the grasp of our pockets (woohoo!).

    Wasting no time, I made my first order and it arrived a week later, by hand because Adesh was around the corner! So I took the opportunity to wefie with her because hey, I admire her for what she does (lagi lagi pompuan #girlboss)

    check out their amazing 2018 catalogue

    Without further ado, the long haul post that I wanted to share with everyone what I bought! These will be added to my Scandinavian themed studio apartment and also be used in content creating (to photograph products with). I took the liberty (muka tebal) to ask Bentuk Bentuk if they would be kind to give my friends a 10% discount code in which, after a day they said yes! They have not collaborated with any bloggers yet and said I was the first, so I am feeling awesome that I got to ahem ahem... get them to give us all a 10% OFF code on anything from their web store. A min. purchase of RM50 is needed! The code is only valid for a week starting 15th May - 21st May, 2018.

    SO don't miss this out! Complete your home with these aesthetic pieces or level up your content creating on Instagram (for all your flatlay addicts out there).

    Oh yes, they asked what code name I wanted, I said "TAMMYAWESOME" (they laughed) so yes use TAMMYAWESOME during check-out and get 10% OFF your Bentuk Bentuk haul.

    specks of gold - makes everything lux

    they make personalised coasters for wedding favors too!

    Skinny Cone + Gold Flakes RM16.00
    (for jewellery e.g rings)

    Right - Concrete Heart with Gold Flakes RM15

    Septem Tray RM79.00

    Left - Hexagon Coasters (White) RM38

    Septum Tray RM79 + Card Keeper RM45

    Card Keeper in Light Marble
    (for business cards or card display)

     also available offline - Isetan the Japan Store

    They're also available from these locations if you want to have a look and feel of their products in your hands - Isetan the Japan store (Lot 10 Shopping Mall), Iham Gallery (Menara Ilham, KL), Ninth Gallery (Publika, Solaris Mont Kiara) and Naiise Malaysia (Zhongshan Building, KL). Many thanks to Bentuk Bentuk for agreeing to offer a 10% discount for my fans and friends so they can make their first purchase enjoy improving their homes or as props for their content creating

    Zara Scarf Print Blouse


    only available in M size, but plenty big for size UK 16 - 20

    it's not a blouse, I wonder why they call it a blouse

    Yesterday, I went to Zara 1 Utama just to have a look at what's new here. Sometimes I can find XL size clothing here that fits, so it's like a treasure hunting place for me. While browsing around, my eyes immediately zoom into this one piece the mannequin was wearing. It had a beautiful Asian print on it with elephants, peacocks and wildlife on it. It'll be lovely for my next island getaway (this June I'm heading to YTL's Gaya Island for 2 nights!). The material is polyester but it feels like a silk scarf. Very elegant, soft, cool to the touch. I tried it on and decided to buy it, even though the price tag was kinda expensive but I have never seen such a beautiful print on a kimono style outerwear. It'll look good with jeans, a long plain dress, or just with my beachwear.

    Baby G Is Every Girl's Dream Come True


    we're turning three this June

    This June marks the 3rd anniversary of my bf and I (lovingly known as Baby G). If this sentence brings a sense of deja vu, you're right because last year I wrote about the relationship quiz sharing how Baby G and I met (thanks to Prudential). This year Prudential invited me again to talk about my relationship and financial planning as a couple. I thought this would be a good idea to continue the conversation, touching on an important aspect of the relationship.

    1.1 in Gianyar, Bali (Ubud) with the 💖 of my life on my birthday 🎂 Our love story is a one in a million encounter. We met in the most unexpected way, a traveller (him) who stopped by KL for a day or two. He lost his wallet at the airport & ended up eating rice mountain with dhal curry and a Texas fried chicken! We met online & exchange stories. I felt sorry for him and rescue him from being on the streets! (He denies this). He fell in love with my heart and I for his courage. His stay in KL lasted a month before we kiss goodbye & exchange our confessions at the airport bus stop. I held my tears, couldn't believe this was happening. We didn't think we would fall in love with each other from his ordeal. He flew back Ireland but after 4 months came back before my birthday 🎂 He took me to Bali to celebrate. Our love story begins and ends with every moment we shared. Thank you Gareth Tucker for being my New Year's kiss come true & for this wonderful romantic Bali trip #durexmy #ourloveplayground @durexmy
    A post shared by @Malaysian Blogger (@hellotammylim) on

    Like every fairy tale, Baby G and I met in the most unexpected way possible. I would thank God for this unbelievable chance, crossing paths, with one-in-a-million scenarios of how we would not have met. Every year, during our anniversary Baby G and I would talk about our love story.

    It was fate that brought us together, a love story that you wouldn't believe if I told you. A lonely traveller who lost his wallet at the airport and the lonely single gal fresh out from an unhappy relationship.

    For a guy, he's not the stereotypical male who's all he-man. I joked about this, referencing that he graduated from the Irish Finishing School because Irish men are popular for their banter, romantic sweet nature, and diabetic wordplay. Baby G is probably every girl's dream guy if you know him.

    Irish Finishing School anyone?

    Not a day goes by, without a hug or kiss from him. He would wake me up with a kiss, kiss me when I leave home to work, kiss me when I come back, and kiss me before I sleep. He also lives on cuddles, which if I count on average, he would want to snuggle and cuddle up every hour - once. This happens every day, and at first, I was annoyed at him for being so "sweet" I wasn't used to someone loving me unconditionally (yeah I have love handles and have grown into a dumpling, but he still thinks I'm the prettiest girl on earth). He respected, loved and cared for me.

    After a while, his sweet nature infected me. I became the kissing, cuddling, sweet talking machine under his "mentorship" and at times, he would be shocked I have improved so much.

    will you leave your country to be with the person you love?

    We tried long distance after he left Malaysia. It was a month after we parted ways at the KLIA bus terminal in 1 Utama. He went back to Ireland (his original plan before being stranded in Malaysia, losing his wallet at the airport and all). For 3 months, we chatted online but I couldn't take long distance anymore. The time difference wasn't helpful, and when I came this close to ending what we have, he took the plunge and flew to Malaysia to be with me.

    Baby G flew over 10,000km to be with me

    Well to be accurate, he took a long bus journey from his hometown to Dublin, then a 10 hour ++ flight to Dubai followed by a 7 hour ++ flight to Kuala Lumpur. I waited at the international arrival hall for him, all panicking and nervous like a young girl again. Then I saw his face and I lived happily ever after, we hugged each other tightly and kiss. Sounds like a romance movie Julia Roberts would be in.

    what makes or breaks your relationship?

    But this isn't a movie, and we have to "adult" up. With him sacrificing his plans just to be here with me, would mean he wouldn't be able to work in Malaysia (working visa, etc). It may not be practical as well because he gets far more working in Australia or in the U.K. Financially, I was stronger since I have a great job, comfortable for the both of us. I'm also giving allowances to both my parents (Asian kid duty). I don't own a car or a property, or have children so that would require future financial planning if things were to change.

    roles have reverse, I'm Richard Gere now

    I joked about being the Richard Gere in the relationship, and Baby G being Julia Roberts. My last relationship, I was always put down and insulted for not earning more and for domestic duties as the "woman" (taking care of him, laundry, household chores, etc). Having this role reversal in my current relationship, gave me a sense of power and confidence (sometimes I bully Baby G - ops sorry Baby).

    We did the talk, and it was agreed that in this situation, we would share responsibilities together as a couple. Baby G isn't my toy boy or "bf", he's the one, my partner and companion and I respect and value him being here with me. He's not made of money but he's definitely not penniless. I'm not his sugar mommy (some people speculating this). He has his own money which he buys groceries and food. The money he saved working in Australia for two years while traveling and seeing the world.

    those days where women had one role

    these days men can be house husbands too

    Since I spend most of my time dedicated to my work and taking care of the Butterfly Project community, I basically do not have time for anything else. Baby G brings balance to this. He's what you call the modern "house husband". He takes care of all the domestic duties - cooking, groceries, cleaning, laundry, and sometimes blogs for me as my co-writer. If he's the yang, I'm the yin.

    luckily for me, my man doesn't do this

    I worry about this every day

    both of us has gained over 10kg being together lol

    But I do worry about the future. I worry about the what ifs? What if I lose my job? What if something were to happen to me what would happen to him? What if we marry, would he be able to get a job here? What if he decides to go back to his country - with me. Will I be able to continue working? What if we have children? Sometimes I wish he's the Crazy Rich Angmoh version of the upcoming Crazy Rich Asian movie.

    It'll be great if one day, he says "look, baby, I'm actually filthy rich,
    let's go buy that crazy rich apartment in Mont Kiara".
    photo source: ew.com

    Well, that's just a joke. I love him for who he is, if he was filthy rich, that would just be a bonus so I don't have to worry about our future. Baby G is to me, my soul mate, my life partner, my companion, my everything. I thank God, his divine wisdom, and blessing for letting our paths cross.

    In Australia, our relationship would be defined as a de facto relationship, without needing to sign some paperwork to be legally married. In Malaysia, there is no such thing, and one would need to marry in order to be able to live here on a spousal visa. I wouldn't need to worry about him not being able to stay here, he would be able to get a working visa to help pay the bills.

    Relationship Struggles: How To Adult

    Our relationship isn't the only one facing challenges. Many couples experience this hardship in Malaysia. The cost of staying in a relationship isn't limited to just everyday expenses but also the cost of being together, making it work especially when you're in a long-distance relationship. Being in a serious relationship is the start of many things, including the most important factor - the future.

    take the relationship quiz

    Are your relationships a two-way street? Find out if you're #IntimateAllies, #DutifullyStuck or #RapidlyUnravelling with your partner, family or friends with this quiz, and pinpoint the exact relationship types in your life! Do the Relationship Quiz here!

    Curious how Malaysians fare in the relationship conundrum? Download the 2017 Prudential Relationship Index Malaysia Report for more information.

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